so i feel like 2009 is the year that my luck ran out. i recieved my first speeding ticket last week for going 81 mph. now if any of you know me then you know i've gone much faster & that i am Miss Speedracer. i guess my luck ran out & it finally caught up to me. i'm also starting to get really sick of always being broke. since this year started i've constantly been short on cash and its getting fucking ridiculous. i miss having money to spend. i know it sounds so superficial but let's face it folks, money does make the world go round (to quote a friend). i try to focus more on the things that matter, i mean YEAH my credit is probably getting so fucked up but HEY i have my loved ones. i wish it was that simple. unfortunately it always feels like my family is falling apart on me and all i can count on is the sister and besty & boythaaang. its a bit sad. i try not to focus on the materialistic shit, try to put more focus on something more stable but how can i when my family isnt stable to begin with? in conclusion, it sucks.
i'm trying to stay positive, constantly on the job hunt. i hate hate HATE my job. i can't believe how i was conned into this position. i absolutely hate working in the mall, what the fuck was i thinking? anyways, i'm hoping that over time more doors will open up for me and that all my prayers will be answered and i'll be filthy stinkin rich =). but yeahhh, a girl can dream.
i feel like at this point in my life shit should start coming together don't you think? we're getting to that age where the person you go on a blind date with tonite could potentially be THE ONE. we're getting closer and closer to our upper division classes where we should be set on our majors and our careers. what the fuck? why can't i figure this shit out? i get scared knowing that the next decision i make could totally fuck my life up & i'll eventually have to start from scratch. i know it sounds hella intense but seriously, think about it.. it kinda is.
whatever, all i know is i'm gonna TRY to keep positive, look to the better things in life.
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